Thursday, January 1, 2015

Starting Over

Starting over is sort of how I see myself right now. And not because it's a new year.

I really feel like I want to start over.

I'm not one to wear my heart on my sleeve, but this year was one of the best and probably one of the worst years for so many different reasons. And though I won't go into detail, I can say that I'm glad the last year is done. I can regain some control.

I realize I never had control to begin with. But, I also realize pain, anger, frustration and REAL heartache are a part of living. And when that part is over, albeit temporarily, it feels like I've found my path again.

 Trust and pain and hope, and using those to the best of our abilities, these are issues none of us want to deal with, but ones we have to deal with in order to learn anything. And most importantly, to mature. If we can't handle pain the right way, we don't grow. At all. We're like a tree without fruit. What a waste.

I laughed over things that I never would've laughed at before this year.
I cried over things that I never would've EVER thought to cry over this year.
And all of it, the good and the bad, the ugly and the pretty, the highs and lows, all of it was necessary.

I am on a road that God laid out for me. It's not always as clear as this picture. Some days, the path is so obstructed with distractions that I {knowingly and unknowingly} placed in my way that I cannot find my way back. But, it's still there nonetheless. And it's up to me to stay on that path -- amidst trials and heartache and joyous occasions -- and not give up.

So, I won't give up. On life, on my dreams, on anything. Despite what I meet along the path.

Mostly, because God never gives up on me.




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